How Do I Choose Godparents?

Choosing godparents is both a joyful honor and a serious spiritual decision. In baptism, families publicly entrust a child to God’s grace and to the care of the Church. Godparents are not meant to be decoration for a ceremony; they are witnesses, encouragers, and trusted adults who help your child grow in faith.

Start With Your Church’s Requirements

Before making a list, ask your parish or pastor what your tradition requires. Different churches use different terms—godparents, sponsors, baptismal sponsors, or Christian witnesses—and the expectations vary.

In many Catholic parishes, at least one godparent must be a practicing Catholic who has received the sacraments of initiation, is usually at least 16, and is not the child’s parent. A baptized non-Catholic Christian may sometimes serve as a Christian witness alongside a Catholic godparent. Orthodox, Anglican, Lutheran, Methodist, and other traditions may have their own guidelines.

This first step can save hurt feelings later. You can say, “We’re checking our church’s requirements before we ask anyone, because we want to honor the meaning of baptism.”

Look For Faith, Not Just Familiarity

It is natural to think first of siblings, best friends, or people who have been kind to your family. Those things matter—but the heart of the role is spiritual.

A good godparent is someone who:

• Believes in Christ and seeks to live as a Christian
• Prays, worships, and stays connected to the Church
• Takes baptism seriously
• Shows patience, humility, and love
• Would be a safe and steady presence in your child’s life
• Is willing to keep showing up after the baptism day

The Bible often describes faith as something passed on through ordinary family and community life. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 tells God’s people to speak of his ways with their children “when you sit at home and when you walk along the road.” Paul also remembers the faith that lived in Timothy’s grandmother Lois and mother Eunice (2 Timothy 1:5). Godparents join that wider circle of faithful influence.

Ask What You Hope They Will Actually Do

Before asking someone, decide what you are asking for. Some families expect godparents to be very involved; others simply hope they will pray and remember baptismal promises. Being clear is kinder for everyone.

You might hope godparents will:

• Pray for your child regularly
• Remember the baptism anniversary
• Give a children’s Bible or faith-related gift at milestones
• Encourage church involvement as the child grows
• Be someone your child can ask honest faith questions
• Support you as parents when Christian parenting feels hard

You do not need someone perfect. No godparent is. But you do want someone willing. Hebrews 10:24 encourages believers to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” That is a beautiful picture of what godparents can do—not replace parents, but encourage the whole family toward Christ.

Consider Relationship, Distance, And Longevity

A godparent does not have to live nearby, but connection matters. Ask: Will this person still be in our child’s life five or ten years from now? Do they know us well enough to care? Are they emotionally mature? Do they respect how we are raising our child?

Sometimes the “obvious” choice is not the wisest one. A beloved friend may not share your faith. A relative may feel entitled but not be dependable. Another person may be quieter, less flashy, and deeply faithful—the kind of adult your child will be blessed to know.

If you are choosing two godparents, consider whether they complement each other. They do not need to be a couple. Many families choose one from each side of the family, or one family member and one close friend. What matters most is that they can sincerely stand with you before God and the Church.

Ask With Clarity And Gratitude

When you ask, be warm and specific. For example:

“Would you consider being a godparent for our child? We’re asking because we see your faith and love for our family. We would hope you’d pray for her, encourage her as she grows, and help us point her toward Jesus.”

Give them time to think and permission to say no. A thoughtful “no” is better than a pressured “yes.” If someone declines, it may be because they respect the seriousness of the promise.

Finally, remember that baptism is not about creating a perfect spiritual support system. It is about God’s grace, the family’s commitment, and the Church’s love surrounding a child. Jesus welcomed children and said, “Let the little children come to me” (Mark 10:14). Choose godparents who will help keep that welcome visible in your child’s life.